Good morning world! I'm feeling great. Now those of you who know me can think of a lot of different adjectives to describe me, however I don't think the word "spiritual" would be among them. So what you are about to read may come as a bit of a shock, and it has certainly changed my life over the last few days.
It all started when I heard Anita Moorjani's story, www.anitamoorjani.com, I was absolutely blown away by the powerful message in her experience. I thought to myself if she can experience this miracle and go from being on her deathbed from cancer to completely cancer free in less than five weeks, then bloody hell I can do the same, although I'm going to start now, I'm not getting anywhere near my death bed.
The next day I googled looked for "inspirational cancer healing ideas" and of course who should I find by Louise L. Hay. Years ago when I was going through a tough time, my counsellor gave me a book by Louise L. Hay called "You can heal your Life". I was suffering from arthritis in my right hand at the time, and had tried modern medicine through my rheumatologist, but nothing worked. Sharon, my counsellor suggested I read the section on arthritis in this book and do the "mantras" or "personal talk" associated with it. I, of course put the book on my shelf and ignored it. Then a few weeks later when my hand was all cramped and swollen I thought to myself, what can this hurt. So I did, I tried it, I read the section on arthritis, I read why she thought I had it (apparently I was holding on to something that was not good for me and I needed to let it go), and I looked in the mirror every day for a week and said the sayings to myself. Now I have to tell you that is awkward. I don't know why but I have no problem talking to myself all day long, and sometimes I even answer myself, but looking into my eyes in the mirror and having a conversation, well that's just odd. I never really got comfortable with it but I have to tell you it worked. Within a week my arthritis was completely gone. That was nine years ago and it has never returned. It made a believer of me, although I never used the book again, other than to look up the occasional ache to figure out what might be causing it.
Finding Louise's name all over these cancer healing sites got me thinking. I can do this, I can use my own inner strength and her guidance and I can heal myself. I just needed something specific to my situation. Then I found it "Cancer, Discovering your Healing Power". I immediately downloaded the audio book and listened to it. I had found the answer. I can do this, not alone, certainly I'm not going to stop going to chemo, however I can heal myself and I have already started.
Within a few hours my body was already feeling better, my breast had stopped aching, which it had been quite badly that day, and my entire mindset was different. I knew that all the support and love I had been getting from my friends and people who I didn't even know cared about me was there for me to draw strength from. I knew that this was not my time, that I still had a lot to do and many years to live on this earth (Yep Wade I promised you I was going to grow old with you and I aim to keep that promise). I felt a strong sense of purpose and I felt I was radiating love all around me. This has stayed with me and continues to strengthen and grow inside me. I am not scared now for my next chemo session. I know that it will provide me with more weapons with which to fight this battle. Actually I don't even think of it as a battle anymore. I am done with cancer. It just hasn't figured that out yet, but my body will eradicate it. Once it has gone, it will never come back because it has no reason to and I won't give it reason. This is experience enough to know I never want it back.
Every morning and every evening now I meditate using the affirmations in Louise's book. I even look myself in the mirror and say the affirmations directly into my eyes. Yes it feels odd, apparently after about a month it won't - I'll let you know. In the meantime I am doing it and I feel powerful and I feel good and I am sharing that with everyone around me. When you see me now and give me a hug, I will hug back with strength and love and the knowledge that I am healing, I am on my way to being cancer free and all the amazing love and support that you have given me is working. I am woman hear me roar! My miracle is happening, just you watch, the doctors will be blown away.
Phew...that's a lot to take in and you are just reading it here on my blog. Imagine how my husband must feel. I woke up yesterday a completely new woman and he is looking at me wide eyed trying to take it all in. I'm telling him about meditation and personal power and belief and how I'm healing myself. Wild, the most spiritual I got before this was to ask him for another glass of bubbly to boost my spirits, so this is quite a change. One of the things I mentioned was my meditation place. When I meditate, I picture myself on this little beach we went to on our holiday in February. It is aptly named Champagne Bay. I feel such a sense of calm when I think of this place and it is aiding in my healing. I said to Wade yesterday "Honey, when I am healed in a year or two I would like to go back to that little beach. I don't know how we will get there, and right now I'm not going to worry about it, but I want to go there." "We will" he said, "we will find a way and we will go there".
This is a picture taken when I was sitting on that little beach. It is half way around the world in Vanuatu and it is in my heart as well. I cannot wait for the day I am sitting there again :-)
I am the luckiest person on this planet, I have the most amazing husband who has been a rock beside me. He has helped with anything I needed and never complained. He is also now supporting me in my spiritual journey of healing and that brings me great joy. I saw my children yesterday morning before school and gave them both great big happy, wild, crazy hugs. I am here guys, I am your Mummy and I'm going to be here for a very long time. This is so amazing. To my dear friends, when you see me now and hug me, realize it's a hug of joy, a hug of healing. I am no longer "living with cancer" I am healing and you are all helping me to do so. Rejoice with me, become part of my joy and part of my healing process. Watch me grow and become the magnificent beautiful being I was meant to be so I can share with the entire world my experience and help anyone who is experiencing sickness and pain to heal as well. Hey Lisa B., watch me bring sexy back LOL! Oh and on a final note, apparently 7% of people who go through the chemo I am going through right now don't lose their hair. I chopped mine all off, but watch me be one of the 7% who doesn't lose it, wouldn't that be a laugh and a half!
Onwards and Upwards,