Thursday, 24 January 2013

Tearing Skin? You're Kidding Me!

Last night I rolled over in my sleep only to be awoken by a searing pain in my armpit.  After the pain subsided, I went to the bathroom to see what was going on.  I gently lifted my right arm and there, clear as day were three tears in my armpit.  Yup you read that correctly.  Tears!  The skin in my armpit area is tearing apart like tissue paper.  Every time I move my arm to a point where the skin should naturally stretch, it actually tears instead.  

My Armpit two days ago.
I am so upset by this, I have eight more treatments to go, what is going to happen to my skin during them? Will it completely disintegrate?  How am I supposed to treat this, the steroid cream that I have been given burns when it hits the tears, and I don't see them healing anytime soon.  The shitty thing is that during this entire time of radiation treatment, my cancer has actually grown.  I know, you're wondering how the heck I would know that.  Well it's pretty obvious, especially to anyone reading this who has IBC.  Let's just put it this way.  Before I started chemotherapy, my right breast was the size and consistency of a honeydew melon.  Then after eight months of treatment it had shrunk back down to match my left breast.  Now, since the chemo has stopped it has grown again.  It is certainly not honeydewish LOL, but it is quite a bit bigger and I can feel the hardness of the cancer within.  So, I ask, why the heck am I going through hell with radiation when it doesn't appear to be making any difference to the cancer?

I cannot wait until the surgery when they can remove all of it from my body.  Although I really don't know how they can possibly cut me open and expect my tissue paper skin to heal back up.  This would be a miracle and I'm ready for miracles.  

Well, time for me to sign off.  I have to go and get radiated again boooooo.



Anonymous said...

there is an herb shop in Kitsilano called Gaia Garden Herbal Apothecary and my aunty called them and had them make a cream up the helped with her radiation burns. I don't recall what al was in it but I do know it had saint johns wort an oil called helichrysum ( I remembered because it sounds so pretty) and comfrey in it. I also recall she was thrilled that it had no helped her get rid of the scarring. IF you are open to it you can call, let them know what it's for and they do custom mail orders if its too far for you to go.

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