I Guess the World Didn't End!

I know, I know, it was wishful thinking on my part that the world would end today.  Okay, perhaps not really wishful thinking, more some sort of sick fantasy.  I thought, if the entire world ends today then I could see my mother and brother again, I wouldn't have to go through radiation and surgery and would never have to worry about cancer again.  It wasn't that I really wanted everyone else to die, it just seemed to be a "bright side" way of looking at the doom and gloom prophecy.

However, here we all still are, so on I must trudge along this uphill, rocky, slippery and booby (pun intended) trapped path until I can get to the end.  What is at the end?  I often wonder, what will await me once all this is over.  Will it really be over and will I live a long fruitful life until I'm an old codger, or will it return in a year or two and I'll have to start this road all over again.  If that happens I'll be royally pissed off!

So, today is day 3 of radiation therapy.  I have to tell you I HATE radiation therapy almost more than I hated chemotherapy.  It goes against all my knowledge and instinct to voluntarily lie on a bed in an awkward position for 40 minutes so I can be blasted by eight to twelve long doses of radiation poisoning.  I hate it!!!!  Also, I can feel it.  I was told it would not hurt until a few weeks in when the skin would begin to blister and crack, that's a load of baloney.  It hurt from the very first treatment on Wednesday afternoon.  Yesterday I asked the radiologist and he said that yes, for people with light, sensitive Irish type skin like I have, it does hurt, from the beginning.  It feels like a bad sunburn, itchy, burning, stinging, sensitive to the touch, and he said it will only get worse each of the 28 times, not better.  So, he recommended I take pain killers before each session as well as speak to my doctor and the pain management area about meds and dressings to help me when the skin starts to look like bubbly bacon in the frying pan.

My girlfriend Debbie has recommended wine therapy.  It seems much more inviting to me.  Her suggestion is to have a few glasses of wine after each session to dull the pain.  Sounds fantastic, although it also comes with a few not so good things.  Wine everyday will probably cause some other physical damage to my liver, not to mention with my taste in wines, it would be an expensive proposition, so I'll stick to the cheap oral meds the doc will provide.  I'm going to try to get a photograph of me all set up in the rads room, including a photograph of the custom made bolus they use to help my top layer of skin fry more than normal rads would do - sounds just lovely, just think of it as a thick layer of grease attracting and intensifying the rays to sizzle me a deep dark purple.  Yum, I can smell the burning now.

That's all I have for today folks.
Off to the city for treatment

Enjoy the start of the new "better" world.

Michelle